Saturday, July 23, 2016

Insensitive assholes

I can't seem to get this out of my head. This past Friday, I was at the vet in Willingboro taking Layla for a follow up after the surgery she had to remove a growth in her ear. She generally hates being there. She nervous sheds, with dandruff. She shakes and wants to be picked up. We sat down close to another guy who was there with a dachshund, as well. His was a dark haired boy, eleven years old. Layla wanted to say hi and, of course, get attention from the guy, as well. His dachshund was missing his eyes. He told me that he has diabetes and they had to take his eyes out. His little paws were swollen and he was worried about him. He said that he was getting around pretty well by hearing and smelling things, and that he can get to his bowls and his toys. He said that he knew he was struggling, but he just couldn't let him go. I completely understand that. He was a very sweet dog and wanted to be held. The guy was entirely great with him. You could tell how much he cared for him. So, while we're sitting, this older woman walks by, sees Layla and says, "Hey boy! Look at you!" Uh...no. She's a girl. Layla obliged her. She's a people kind of dog. She loves everyone. She goes on to say that she "has dogs at home". Ok. Whatever. She seemed a bit weird and forward. She then walks over to the man and his dachshund and says, "Hey dog!" and moves closer to look at him. He didn't immediately react...well, because he's blind. What does she do? "Nevermind," she says, and waves dismissively at both of them, as if she couldn't be bothered. I found it weird, rude and highly insensitive. Part of me wanted to tell her off for being an asshole. I just shook my head. The guy didn't react much. He chose the high road, and besides, he was more concerned with his pup than to care at all about one douchebag's rude behavior. It basically tells me that some people couldn't give a rat's fat ass about others who struggle with disabilities, whether in the human or animal form. I haven't been able to shake that dachshund or his owner from my memory. He was a sweet pup and his dad clearly loved him. It bothered me to think about how dismissive people can be. Anyone who thinks that the prospect of losing their companion is of lesser importance due to their not being human is just an asshole. Remember...if you can easily mistreat or shrug off a sick animal, you're probably a borderline sociopath.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Disconnecting

More and more, I'm finding myself not wanting to be on social media. I've wanted to get back to blogging more, and so I really should work towards that, as well as getting my ass in gear for NaPoWriMo next month, as I always do. I have been reading as much as possible. I'm enjoying the disconnect. I'm going to try my hand at some fiction...short stories, which is what I used to do back in the day. I'm doing it for shits and giggles and to get a few things out of me that I'd rather not do in poetry...characters, anyway. They are all pieces of me, in some way or shape, anyway. As for Facebook and Twitter...I would like to use them more as tools for plugging my work. My poetry is who I am and what I do and I need to keep bashing people over the head with that until they realize that. Perhaps...someone will give a shit. I'm betting the opposite, but that's because my self confidence and self esteem has always been dog shit. Couple that with the depression I live with and well...it's a giant dog shit smoothie. And speaking of poetry...

I know that there are cliques. This is been going on since the beginning of time. As a life long outsider, I find it hard to connect with a lot of other poets. Sometimes I can, but this is a rarity. It has always seemed to me that, for as much as I try to build things within the poetic community, it's often brushed aside or disregarded. I see some people (and NO, I would never name names) who don't really put in the blood and sweat into their craft getting ahead, and honestly, it pisses me off. Do the work. Give a shit about the craft, about all the scenes. Don't live in a house of mirrors. Read other poets voraciously. Be selfless and humble. Never forget where you came from. I will always, no matter how small (they are never big) my successes are, keep a level of humility. The other thing that I see, especially from some poets on Facebook, is that there are certain cliques that scoff at and put down others, to the point of mocking and discrediting those who don't fit in their little fucking jar of what they believe poetry to be. I give a hearty "FUCK YOU" to those poets. You are not the emperors of poetic form. Your jealousy and high school cattiness can eat a bag of dicks.  

Anyway...I have a pile of books on my desk and more piled on the bookshelves. I keep buying books, taking books out from the library...it's a sickness, but one that I'd rather not cure. Maybe you'll see me here more. Maybe, whoever you are out there who actually reads this fucking blog, will give a fuck and a half. Also, I have a new chapbook out from Indigent Press called "Into The Undertow", if you're interested. I'm very happy with how it came out. Much love to Charles Joseph for all of his hard work.