Saturday, April 6, 2013

NaPoWriMo, Day 6

This is one of the two valedictions I wrote today. The prompt is via NaPoWriMo, the site I've been following the most, though I've also gone outside the box a few times, as well. I had found out last May that an ex-girlfriend of mine had died. She was seven years younger than me. I don't hold a great deal of nostalgia for someone who put me through a mess of shit, but I don't think she was "evil" or anything like that. She and I would never be really friendly again and that was quite fine with me. After she passed, I wasn't sure how to feel. My friend Todd and I had agreed that she lived a tough life and felt sort of bad for her, but she created a lot of her own problems. Anyway, here's the poem. 

Valediction for an ex-girlfriend

My mother called on a Sunday,
told me you were gone.
She didn't know much more.
I knew what you told me on Facebook.
The bad marriage and divorce,
the older guy who got you hooked
on drugs, the bulimia,
the pictures you posted online,
gaunt, bony and frail.
It wasn't the same girl I dated,
but you were smiling. Somehow,
after everything your 35 year old
body endured, you managed to smile.
You had a husband who treated you well,
you'd just gotten a new cat.
You also kept throwing up.
It had to be what finally beat you,
the last strain on a fragile ecosystem.
I want you to know that I let go of
that bitterness some years ago,
that I had a fight with my wife over
being in contact with you again.
After I hung up the phone with my mother,
I asked my wife if I should feel sad.
I think I finally do, Jessica.

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