Today ended up a little better than yesterday, as I ended up with two poems. The first has to do with today being 17 years since Kurt Cobain's death. The second is about the town I now call home.
There is still a void in between the
moment you put the barrel of a shotgun in
your mouth and pulled the trigger
to now, seventeen years later,
where no one has sounded
anything like you and no genre has
been defined by anyone since.
I still remember listening to the
radio on the way to Paramus Park Mall,
and I never listen to the radio, and
hearing the news that you were gone.
I remember exactly what I screamed aloud
in the car, by myself.
You stupid son-of-a-bitch!
Like an irate father screaming at
fighting children in the back seat.
I still want to believe that Courtney had
something to do with how you died,
because that would make more sense to me
than to think you'd want to leave your
baby daughter alone with that shell of a human.
Yet part of me understands entirely
what it's like to feel the weight of every
burden and need a way to be released
from every kind of human interaction.
Or maybe it really was the pain in your
stomach, that couldn't be quelled by anything
I didn't get it then, but I do now,
and I swear that I don't have a gun.
We've been acquainted almost two years
and I feel like I barely know you.
I enjoy walking along River Drive and
staring out into the still water of
Rancocas Creek when the Spring arrives,
but I know nothing of the center of you
except that The Dog House charges
far too much for a plain hot dog with
nothing on it. Come on, three dollars?
You don't seem to occupy much space,
when I can take a short walk and end up
in Delran, where I get flirtatious looks
from L&M Bakery all the time. I have a
feeling that I'll be cheating on you soon.
I have to admit, Delanco lures me to her
7-11 for soft pretzels all the time,
even late at night when the urges really
start to kick in, so you need to try harder.
If you only had a really kick ass
pizza joint, we'd really be in love.
Right now, I like you a lot, but you're
still an enigma to me.